When someone says ‘no’, people don’t usually like it. They think that you’re not respecting them by disagreeing with them or saying no when they ask you for something. But how far I see, it’s okay to say no. Yes, we shouldn’t say no in every situation, it sounds rude and also a little bit like you aren’t respecting the person in front of you… but you must learn it to protect yourself. You must say no when it’s needed but not to everyone and all the time. Yes, you should think about it when you are going to say this word to someone, just because this one word which is gonna come out of your mouth is very strong. And we should also know that there is a manner of saying no, you can’t just say no to anyone without thinking that maybe they are right or your answer can hurt them. I’ve seen many of my blogger friends saying that it’s very difficult for them to say no to someone and it’s the same for me. You can say it’s one of my biggest weaknesses. In this post, I’m sharing my reasons why it’s not easy at all for me to say no and why I need to learn it.
(Note: If you’re reading this post, please read until the end because you know half knowledge is dangerous. If you only read one paragraph then left, you can misunderstand what I mean to say and I never want that)
Why it’s not easy to me to say ‘no’
I try as much hard as I can to make everyone happy and I don’t want anyone to be sad or feel bad because of me. My one word can make a big difference and change, so it’s hard for me to choose what should I do. Sometimes people say no in a second but they regret it later and I never want to be trapped in that type of situation because I know that it hurts. Realizing that you’re guilty is good but it’s the worst when you badly want to go back in time and say ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’. Rejecting something and directly saying no can hurt someone’s feeling and maybe the person you’ve hurt once by your ‘no’ will never ask you for anything again. And in the future you may ever need that person, then you’ll feel guilty and it will be hard for anyone to help you. Whenever I say no to my friends, I try to pay for it even when I don’t need to but I just want to help them. What if they will get angry? What if it will make our bond weak? What if they’ll get hurt? What if they won’t ever help me back? These thoughts are my real enemies and I mostly end up losing against them.
Why I badly want to learn to say ‘no’
When you always end up saying yes, people get used to it and think that you’re a genie inside the lamp they are holding; no… even this is not enough for them, a genie can only fulfill 3 wishes but to them, you can grant anything and everything they wish for. But if you ever say no, they get angry like hell and shout how can you say that. When I got admission in 11th grade, everyone was very excited about which subject I’m gonna choose and they all were 100% sure that I’ll choose Biology (except my family okay, I never blame them. I was free to choose what I like). I don’t know you know about this or not but where I live, people still have this nonsense mindset that it’s worthless for a girl to choose Mathematics in 11th grade, even if she’s good in her studies. They think that she can never be an engineer and Biology or other subjects are good for her. Biology just because girls get support from the government in the medical field and government job of a nurse is the best for a girl who wants to work. I’m not saying that being a nurse is not good or Bio is not a good subject, all of my friends chose Biology and when our school started for a month, I would attend Biology class with my friends whenever our Math teacher didn’t take classes and it was so much fun to study it.
But when I chose Math, they all were so shocked and unfortunately some of my classmates too. It wasn’t shocking for me at least when I knew what nonsense some of my classmates who irritate me all day by saying you’re my best friend Poorwa, were talking behind my back that I’m just trying to act smart by choosing Math etc. but you know I’m used to it, and that was the day when I felt so proud that I said ‘no’ to everyone’s thoughts. And what to say, yesterday dad’s old friend came home and asked me about my studies, then you know the same thing- Math? You should’ve chosen Biology. But I just ignored his words because I know that I took a great decision by saying ‘no’.
And saying no to classmates huh. I’m talking about the classmates I just mentioned above, who don’t come to me without any problems. I’ll soon publish a post on the difference between classmates and friends. Only I know how much they irritate me during the months before final exams, yes you guessed it right when we get to complete a mountain of assignments. They do nothing even knowing that they have to submit these assignments at the end of this week because of their mindset that this work is not for me/ I’ll take a good student’s completed work/ Why would I waste my time in searching for answers, it’s easy to copy someone’s assignment.
A day before the date of submission you can’t imagine how many calls and texts I get from my classmates, those classmates who never even say hi and I always lose my temper when I get this message- “Hi Poorwa. Please, send me your assignments. I couldn’t find any question’s answer.” I don’t even have my phone, so I only save my friends’ numbers. I ask who are you, then my stranger classmate replies his/her name like he is or she is my best friend. I’m in high school and if I share my hard work with other students while knowing how mean they are… I betray myself. I have understood this thing, so I say no to them. I don’t do this with my friends because I know they are my friends but there’s a big difference between friends and classmates I say again. But you know they still don’t stop, when I make an excuse I haven’t completed my assignments, they irritate me like this, “How long it will take for you to complete? Send me the answer to question no. 5. Please, send me after you complete yours.” You know how annoying doing this thing is? I mean when someone doesn’t want to do something, why you are forcing that person to help you when you know it was your fault that you didn’t complete your work? I can’t say directly no to anyone, especially when I know that I study with them in one classroom but betraying myself and my work is the worst.
I don’t like the people who always say no without thinking of the result but at the same point of life, I want to learn to say no and believe ‘it’s okay to say no sometimes.’ I can easily say no to strangers and even fight without thinking a second but it’s hard with the people I know and keep a relationship or bond with. Am I weird?
What comes to your mind when you hear no? Is it easy or hard for you to say no to someone? Can you relate with any of my points? Let me know your views on this post in the comment section.
Thanks for reading!