I never really fully understood what getting out of your comfort zone meant until last December.
Challenging yourself can do wonders for your self-esteem and confidence. It’s quite annoying to do something when someone adds “I dare you to…” in front of your task, but when it’s your inner-self presenting the dare to you, it is your responsibility to accept it. Remember, the one person you want to impress the most in the world is no one else but yourself.
I used to be the most active kid in school whenever we had any events. I loved performing. I would start preparing a month earlier for my performances and drag my friends along with me. But after I entered college, I lost all excitement I used to have for such school functions.
At first, my excuse was that I didn’t have any friends there with whom I would feel that comfortable. Turns out, my new classmates were not that different from me. I wasn’t the only one who lost her charm after graduating from high school. Gradually, we went from ‘not feeling comfortable enough’ to ‘not feeling confident enough’.
It took me two years to realize that we hadn’t lost our charm but it was simply because we’d changed. I only wish somebody had told us that it’s okay to grow and change when we were feeling so disappointed in ourselves. If something starts giving you stress instead of joy, no matter how much you enjoyed doing it in the past, it’s okay to give it a rest and try something new.
Though I believe you cannot actually let go of some things completely because they become a part of you over the years. I notice it on days when we take our seats in the audience and cheer for the stars on the stage. We watch and we don’t judge.
Okay, sometimes we can’t help but judge when a certain song starts playing and the performers don’t do justice to it. Me and my new friends joke about going up on that stage and show them how it’s done properly. Of course, we could never actually do that. It’s not that we think we’re better, it’s our response mechanism when memories of our school days start surfacing again and our eyes fill up when we suddenly find ourselves in our old schools and I see myself up on that very stage, having the time of my life with my old friends.
Last December, our department organized a fest in the college and my class had to take the initiative since we’re seniors. That’s when we knew we had no other way but to face the spotlight we’d been avoiding for two years. Also, it was a matter of pride because we were sort of in a competition with our rival class, and extroverts we might not be but we’re competitive as hell.
We had to bring something new this time because we were strictly warned that if we fail to impress the admins, they would cancel the fest. And we couldn’t let that happen because it was finally our time to shine.
Everyone was ready to put their heart and soul into this fest, and of course, I couldn’t stand back. I remember the day, me and my friends, we were sitting in a circle doing our own random things while also trying to come up with some ideas, and I suggested “why don’t we host a gameshow?” To be honest, I was just throwing an idea, not suggesting that I was going to do it. But as soon as the words left my mouth, everyone’s attention was on me and I knew there was no turning back now.
Newsflash: I had never hosted anything in my life before, let alone organizing a whole game show that would go on for a whole hour.
I don’t know where I got the confidence from but I told the department about my idea, they asked lots of questions that made me nervous, but in the end, and to my surprise, they said yes. I was shocked actually, I had no idea they trusted me enough to hand over the event to me for an hour. I felt a sense of gratitude but deep inside I had never felt such anxiety before.
No matter how hard you try, when you’re the youngest at home everyone thinks of you as an irresponsible child. But when I’m in college, everyone treats me like an equal and sometimes even more than that. I find it strange when I can’t understand what makes them think I can actually do some great stuff. And it gets overwhelming when everyone has such big expectations from you but you just constantly feel as if you’re not good enough. And your worst nightmare is everyone finding out what you think you are.
These thoughts kept hovering over my mind for the next few days after I submitted my idea. Even the thought of stepping back came to me several times but then I tried with all my ability to think about how much I hate having regrets. The thing is that the world’s not going to stop moving even if you give up before trying. The fest would take place anyway and something worse would be them handing over my responsibility to someone else if I stepped back.
So I took a deep breath and took a step forward. I told myself If you’re gonna do it, then do it properly. I was provided with a team of three people to help me throughout the process but I learned within a couple of days that I needed to find a better team. Don’t get me wrong, I liked them but it was just that the project didn’t matter as much to them as it did to me. They didn’t care if it was a success or not. So I decided to go solo and only ask for help to someone who was willing to do it.
Turns out, I never had to worry about being left alone because I always had my people by my side. My friends were also loaded with work but they were always there for me whenever I needed them. We all worked day and night for three whole weeks. The idea I had for the game at first was not really much complicated, but as we started working on it and got feedback, we dared to aim for something bigger even if it meant making things a bit more complex.
It was crazy how much I got to learn about event management in just a few days. We did so many activities. We made a short film (it was my first time acting by the way), decorated the whole venue with hand-made and theme-based models, and even shot a super adorable behind-the-scenes video that we played during the game before declaring the winners as a wrap-up of the whole fest. That moment became the highlight of the show and we couldn’t have been prouder of ourselves.
I can’t help but get a bit emotional whenever I watch our behind the scenes videos that we made while preparing for the fest and sometimes I wonder what if I had given up without even trying? Of course, there were hurdles in between and I’d be lying if I said that the execution of the gameshow went as smoothly as I’d wanted. For a moment I was literally freaking out on stage while trying my best to keep my calm but then I saw my friends cheering in the audience and my besties doing their best backstage to support me, that gave me strength to keep my chin up and continue. You know what they say – The show must go on.
And in the end, when all of it was over and we were taking pictures and celebrating, I knew that even if I were given a chance, I wouldn’t change a thing about it.
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