Poorwa's blog

Dear Poorwa,

I celebrated my 20th birthday this Christmas Eve. I was going to say “we” but I figure time has changed way too many things for us to be the same person anymore.

I want to thank you first, obviously, for making the choices you have made and are going to make. You deserve to hear this because I never appreciated myself when I should have. I was always almost sure that I’m ruining things for myself because someone else said so, but you did what you had to do anyway and thanks to that, I’m able to say that I don’t regret any of the choices I made as a teenager.

Of course, you’re going to make mistakes. Lots of them. But at the end, you’ll also find something so beautiful that you’re going to cherish it all your life. I won’t be spoiling much to you, but one assurance I can give you is that you’ll never find yourself alone.

But I hope you stop wishing for things to stay just the way they are forever. Because they won’t. Life changes, every hour, every minute. Sometimes we just notice it too late. You’ll go years without talking to someone you think your life is incomplete without. But by the end of your teen life, you’ll have made friends who’ll come to your house on your birthday and treat your room like it’s their own. Making you realize again how loved you are.

As you’ll grow up, you’ll find it harder to make time for yourself. Well, that’s what you get for making everything your responsibility. But I’m not going to blame you for that. Instead, I’m proud of you for taking the first step even when you feel scared. You might think you’re not enough, but trust me, there will be those who need you. And you gotta be there for them.

I’m saying this not only to you but to myself also, we’ll find a way to make up for all the time we didn’t get to spend on ourselves. So let’s stop being too hard on ourselves because everyone else seems to be getting ahead. Even if they are, let them. There will be bad days in front of you, moments that will make you take every wish back and beg for only one thing, as if that’s going to make everything right (it won’t), but you’ll realize what your priorities are and whatever you were stressed about a day before will mean nothing. Don’t take anything for granted and be careful with your words. You don’t want to be in a position where you keep thinking about the last thing you said to someone, unaware of the fact that the next moment everything’s going to change.

At last, go easy on yourself. It’s your first time living too. We’re going to live the life we dream of. Listen to music, take pictures, live the good days to the fullest, and on the bad ones, just remember that it’ll get better.

It does. Just trust me.