Hi there! How have you been? I’m sorry for not posting anything for more than two weeks; I think I should have ended my blogging break a little later. I know I haven’t been active in here and also my plan of catching up with the blog posts in my WP Reader went in vain. And I don’t think it’s gonna get better any sooner.
I’ve been just too much stressed lately. Since the day I got to know that I’m finally in 12th grade now, I was so happy and excited at first, but all I got is more stress and pressure which is increasing day by day.
It’s not like that 12th grade is very hard, it’s not. We just have to study a bit more about what we studied in 11th grade, that’s all. But the thing that is eating me up is everyone’s expectations. My family, friends, relatives, teachers and everyone else who cares about me hopes that I will do well. And it’s nothing wrong; I love them all for this, for supporting me and for expecting good results from me but these things have now started to make me doubt myself.
I feel extremely happy on a moment then suddenly it’s like I’m at my worst. Just one hour ago I was in such a good mood, watching TV and eating snacks but then I got a notification on phone and got reminded of all the current mess in my life.
I hate the atmosphere at my school for the first time in my life. Teachers all the time reminding us of Board exams, me not even able to sit with my best friend or shake hands, the third layer of corona virus in India, etc. etc. And my frustration just reached its limit last Saturday when we got our monthly assignments to write of each subject teachers ordered us that we must complete and submit the assignments on Monday.
I remember how I felt that Sunday night when my fingers couldn’t even move properly because of writing continuously for hours but I still wrote. And yet I couldn’t complete one assignment that night so I had to wake up early next morning to complete it and to be done with everything. My right hand was hurting and I also had a bad headache but I felt proud of myself ‘cause it was definitely applause worthy work.
All of this wasn’t enough now I’ve got another weight on my shoulders. Now I also have to attend extra classes for the preparation of JEE exam. I’m honored that the teachers chose me from our batch and gave me this opportunity but now my mind is just full of thoughts. I don’t know how I will be able to manage my school studies with these extra JEE preparation classes.
*sighs*
So yeah, that’s all what’s going on in my life. “Everything sucks… just kidding. Everything’s great… no really”, that’s how it is (I love that song by the way). But I’m trying my best to keep positive and handle everything well. And for that, I’m changing my blogging schedule as the first step. From now I’ll only post on Sundays at the same time I publish my posts- 4 PM (IST). And I promise you can trust me this time. I just need some more time and I hope you understand.
Sorry for making you read such a boring post but thanks for reading. I never say these things to anyone except my best friend but feel comfortable to share my feelings here. It really means a lot to me that someone is actually listening to what I want to say even if it’s through a blog. Thanks a lot!
P.S.- I won’t mind if you spam the comment section, WP doesn’t feel the same like before but we can at least try to have some fun, right?
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