I tend to look back… a lot. Sometimes I see only good things and sometimes there are only dark days I see but being the positivity lover I am, I try to not regret anything that has happened and accept the good and the bad together. I like to observe myself like how I was that day and how am I today. When I look back at the past year 2021, the only word that pops up in my mind would be ‘unpredictable’. The worst but also the best year of my life yet (and I have no idea about 2022 like I don’t know what happened in these past 5 months). And you know what happens when the worst and the best come together, you happen to face many changes both inside and outside.
Became an introvert
I used to call myself an ambivert whenever someone asked me this question whether you’re an introvert or extrovert. 2021 made me spend most of my time inside my room. The first reason was corona, of course, we all had to stay at home, and then after my school opened – the change was big. It was hard to fit into that offline school life again and my feelings were kinda mixed up, I’d feel happy, sad, excited, and frustrated at the same time. I had always been more of an introvert and those changes 2021 made in my life and personality turned me into a complete one.
Learned precious values of friendship
I think I never appreciated my friends the way 2021 made me do. Yes, I always loved them but it was a different kind of feeling I had last year. I had this thought a million times what would I do if I didn’t have them? 12th grade offline was difficult, still each day I spent in that classroom, in that campus with my weirdos felt like the most joyful day of my life. We don’t share any similarities, agreeing with each other is not our cup of tea, I’m not interested in their interests neither they are in mine… still we share the best bond a friend circle could ever have.
Lost the fear of darkness
Darkness is one of the things I used to fear the most – after lizards, of course (nothing can be scarier than lizards). I don’t know how this happened but I just realized that I don’t fear the dark that much anymore. It started with me turning off the room lights and studying with lamps and my computer screen playing a chill instrumental playlist in the background. It feels quiet and cooler inside the room without lights on and that just felt so great.
My dogs sometimes start barking when it’s late night, so we have to take them outside for a walk of 5 minutes. For this job, I would always wake my sister or dad up to accompany me to go outside with them. 2021… was different. It was like I want everyone else to be sleeping but not me – I just wanted to spend time alone in silence, and midnight seemed like the perfect time to do that. So I would just go outside with my dogs, stargaze for a few minutes sitting on the bench of my garden (we have small bulbs in the garden so there is never completely dark there), and feel the beauty of the chill dark night.
Became more practical
I think this is something I needed in my life, as a student who’ll be stepping into a totally different and new chapter of her life in a few months, I needed to be more practical about the situations in my life and my decisions, and I did learn it… slowly but that was enough for me. A girl accepting the reality yet dreaming all the time, crying is not a weakness for me but it’s my wish for whom I will cry and who can make me cry. Being more practical, for me, in the best way means being more sensible keeping my childish side with me.
Changes are a part of our lives, some are good, some are bad. It’s totally up to us whether we learn from those changes to make it better or just start regretting it all. I believe we all change with time…
How was 2021 to you? What changes has the past year made to you?
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