Hey everyone!!! This is me, Pavithra, owner of the blog – Small Talks. First of all, I want to thank our beloved Poorwa for allowing me to do a guest post on the dark side of being a teenager.
This is completely based on my personal opinion and experiences. I often feel teens in this generation suffer the most because if you see, there is a lot of generation gap between us, our parents, elders, and even between our siblings. Technology and the modern scientific world have changed everything. I thought of listing out some major problems that teenagers face these days in my own simple terms. Hope you’ll like reading it.
Being a teenager is not easy
Some people say I’m pure as an angel that I deserved to be loved by everyone. My friends say that my presence makes them calm and brings happiness. My crush once told his friends that I’m too kind and unique and not like the rest of the mean girls while some strangers even said I’m too good to be true.
But I’ve also heard some people saying that I’m bad as a devil. They say I’m heartless who act smart. I have also heard gossips about how I’m cunning, selfish, and numb. My relatives point out by saying I’m like a chameleon who changes her color according to the people surrounded by me. Some say unlike others I don’t talk dirty and keeps all within myself which ultimately makes me ugly.
But the truth is, I’m just a normal teenage girl struggling to understand herself and find her position to fit in. I love myself but at the same time, I also push myself too much to give into the negative comments and criticism and end up hating who I am or who I’ve become.
Yes, I’m an angel who knows how to turn into a devil and also a devil who admires the angel. I’m the beauty and the beast too. I’m comfortable with certain people and with others I don’t and the result is change in my behavior.
Don’t judge someone too quickly without knowing what they are going through. Being a teenager especially in this generation is not that easy.
1. Influences and expectations
From peer and media influences to parental and societal expectations, we experience pressures and stresses that you never had to deal with in your age. We are asked to act like adults while being treated like children. If you want to be accepted among your peers you have to follow certain rules to fit in. If you don’t, you are rejected and often made fun of.
If you are different in any way, have different views or interests, the chance of you getting along with your peers is small. They feel utterly alone and then end up with depression.
I was listening to a sad song in the YouTube and the comment section literally broke my heart. The one that hit me hard was:
(I really wish I could tell him or her in real that, it’s not true. You are the most amazing and beautiful person I’m dying to see in real. In fact, I’m proud of you that you are not like one of those morons)
It’s sad how people are mocked, make them feel guilty for being different just because he or she isn’t like them.
Even if we try hard to fit in, our identity will be lost. We won’t feel like ourselves anymore. “Who am I or why am I doing this?” questions will be stuck in their head and they will try to find unknown things in their life. Thus falling into depression again. Is being honest and real that sinful these days?
In the end, the high school life of teenagers will be over by convincing your parents that you are studying and convincing your friends that you don’t. (damn)
2. Pressure
Teenagers are put under a lot of pressure due to adult’s incredibly high expectations. They expect their children to do chores around the house, play sports, volunteer, participate in extracurricular activities, act perfect, take the right decisions and also get good grades, be successful. Even if we take it seriously or not, the pressure remains the same and occupies our minds constantly.
Sometimes I feel like crying out loud, not knowing how to put down the weight on my shoulders. I also feel I’m not good enough for anything because those assumptions and expectations that you made, is not who I am.
3. Misunderstanding
Just because I’m a teenager doesn’t mean anything I say will be wild, stupid, and senseless. We often feel like no one understands or supports us. They fail to understand that experiences come with the ‘actual experience’ and not age! I know a girl from my school who acts so mature and take wise decisions at the age of 13. I’ve also met a guy at age 30 who act like an illiterate and act without even thinking. Even in my home, I’m not allowed to share my opinions, thoughts on serious life matters. They say I’m not matured enough to do that and all I have to do is stay silent and let the elders make the right decisions for me. Thus I suppress all my emotions inside and sometimes it feels so heavy.
4. Social media influence
If you use social media where everyone portrays only the so-called perfect life in their status and stories, it gives the teens unrealistic views of other people’s life. They go through a lot to be like them. More chances are there to get addicted to chatting, updating status, obsessing with the number of followers. It can also lead to interrupting their sleep, distracting, bullying in extreme cases.
Even if you don’t use it, you’ll be a laughing image in front of others. I never knew that I’ll be mocked just because I rarely use any social media. Many people still ask me like ” being a teenager you should using all the social media and enjoy your life to the fullest”. I still don’t get it. Some even don’t make friends with them because they want someone active in social media to get more likes and comments. Does no one think that social media is dangerously distancing people in real and connecting weirdly in virtual!?
5. Tons of emotional issues
Sometimes I can’t sleep because I feel empty and the very next moment you can see me happy dancing to a song. That’s how fast the mood changes, within a fraction of seconds. The mood of a teen girl during her mensuration is insane, especially with those period cramps. Especially with all those harmone changes during the teen years, our emotions will be scattered everywhere. It’ll be hard for them to figure out what makes them sad or even happy. Who knew one day I’ll wake up feeling empty and that too feels so heavy?
6. Single or committed
This question will be definitely asked many times in your teen years.
If you are committed, you have to deal with lots of boyfriend/girlfriend problems and dramas. It will be like traveling on a roller coaster full of emotions from maintaining the relationship to heartbreaks, cheating, and breakups. Should I even have to say about being a one side lover!?
Even if you are single, they’ll never let you live in peace. Constant questions will be popped to you regarding your status, interests, and questions on your gender identity. Is it a crime to stay single for a long time? Young women are often pressured at this age for marriage by the force of their parents and relatives. The number of excuses and lies that we say to extend or escape from that arranged marriage is still a pretty endless list.
When you see a teenager being all gloomy, lonely, or angry all the time, just go and speak to them instead of judging in silence. Talk about anything which will put their troubles aside to some extend. Even if you don’t understand or comfort them at least try not to make them feel worse.
I’m going to finish my last teenage year in the upcoming days. I don’t know why but I felt like writing about the dark side of being a teenager. I think it all comes through in the part of growing. I know I’m gonna miss these days when I grew old. I enjoyed it a lot but I never spoke about my sadness to anyone so it felt good writing it down. I’m gonna leave all these worries and trouble and move on like a strong woman. I’ll prepare myself to be confident and take bold decisions.
What do you think about being a teenager!? Any other cons from your side? Tell me in the comments below. I’ll always love to hear from you.
Ps: I just want to let you guys know that no one is going through difficult times alone. We all are in this together.
Thanks, Poorwa once again for giving me this amazing opportunity to speak up in your blog. You were so kind in approaching and accepting my idea. I’m so glad to find you through blogging.
-Pavithra @ Small Talks
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